'18 results

Brian Van Oene Crit No. 8 - '18

Hosted by Team Melissa 

A monstrously full effort BIG gooder Crit .  We had our share of attrition - broken spoke and blow'd up tubular took 2 racers out of the affair before it even started.   Three racers did a park ferme mid-race and yup - she was toasty out there.  Your BOA deplorables had iced water and adult bevvies for all - not a one was left over.   

It's official we are going to always have a Corner 2 Hag to ensure the gaggle of brown trucks and their demolition derby parking is governed whilst you race. Thank you huggie bear you look so adorable in the high viz vest with your .49 sunglasses.   

The following volunteers need kisses and hugs from you all. This Crit was ran so tight and efficient I was giddy.   

Also - we had a real show out there last night. Crit & TT stalwart Gary Wade took a good shot and held off a finish line sprint that had us all agape in amazement. Props Gary that was a well deserved win. He gave half his winnings to the thermobaric weapon Seth Cowie ( exact quote from GW " Seth worked his ass off - give him this " ) who in turn folded the bounty to the beer fund. Video will get loaded when I get the file from Sean Guidi.   

without further ado . . .   

Chief of Race & Ident - Melissa Jack   

Corner 1 Sweep, Split Timing, Flagging Runner Detail - Sean Guidi   

Corner 2 Hag & Cinematography - Sean Williams  

Corner 3 gendarme - Barry Jay   

Corner 4 Control - Tina Ferguson  

Family Support - Cowie, Perkins, Van Nostrand , Thomson, Brown , Haaheim   

Video Mule - Dean Broomham  

A Group   

1st Place - Gary Wade   

2nd Place - Richard Loney  

3rd Place - Jon Bula  

$20 Primes 

Jon Bula 

Dean Broomham 

Baili Guidi  

WEDGE Group   

1st Place - Tyler Nerbas   

2nd Place - Peter Byrnes  

$20 Prime   

Tyler Nerbas   

B Group   

A amazing milestone tonight. A seventy ( 70 ) year difference in age from 10 yr old Joshua to 80 yr old Eric . Props to both of you - a solid good outing lads.   

1st Place - Craig Horon   

2nd Place - Kerry Haaheim  

3rd Place - Rayson Eric Min  

$20 Prime  Kerry Haaheim


'18 results

BOA TT No. 8 - '18

Hosted by Loney & Prokop   

Host shop never called - never showed. Props   

Vehicular Management peoples had logistic issues - no show.   

Adapt , Improvise , Overcome   

With the monstrous help of Richard Loney - we proved that 2 dynamic peoples can run your TT race. A first as I'm quite sure no one has ever been the anti-gravity unit AND the North end Turnaround Hag. Go Fat Kid.   

As always - thanks to our racers - we've some hardies that never allow long weekends and shopping carts of excuses get in the way. They race and they smile and laugh.   

Weather was calm but the windsock showed some spurts - so it wasn't the golden shot of conditions.   

Notable laugh was the local gendarme cruiser that had a tuner punk pulled over for speeding at T intersection on northside. Once the filing and smiles were completed - Constable Smiles pulled up beside the turnaround and asked me   

CS - " what's going on ? "  

FK - " A bike race sir "  

CS - Big Smile " Did you see that I pulled over that kid for speeding ? "  

FK - " Yes sir - thank you "  

CS - " Well hopefully this slows 'em down for you guys. Have a good evening ".  

FK - " thank you ! ".   

And he pulls away. But during this convo - 1 racer was approaching turnaround - but saw the flashing red/blue and figured the following   

1. Brent's going to jail   

2. I don't wanna go with him   

3. I ain't hanging around for this   

4. He'll be fine in jail - he's ugly


And he turned around EARLY. Ha ha ha ha   We mutually agreed on an adjustment time factor post-race and it is net in results. What a laugh. 😃😃  

without further ado . . .   

Chief of Race , Swiss Timing , Start Detail  - Richard Loney

Anti-gravity Unit, Topside Turnaround Hag, Herding Cats in Start Chute  - Brent Prokop

Family Support - Dannica Stevenson

Security - David Bulach   

North End Speed Management - Constable Smiley   

K9 - Cali , Oakley , Timber   

Senior Women   

Judy Lloyd 31:35  


Helen Parr 28:50  

Kendra Jacobs 30:08


Seth Cowie 20:11

Shogun Jesse Vanoene 21:28 

Gary Wade 22:31  

Adam Coppock 24:30


'18 results

June Springs Hill Climb No. 2 - '18

BVO Crits   

Hosted by Cyclepath   

Try as it might - the blustery spit of rain cannot stop our fun. Yes it rained in town around 5 - and yes it wasn't supposed to rain. It stopped and we rolled the last Hill Climb of 2018.   

Juney is a longer stretched out HC - not as sassy or mouthy as Knoxo. She's got 2 nasty pitches at Luxemore and on the final stretch. Other than that it's governing your powerplant from blowing a gasket.   

The animal was released again last night - Seth Cowie raged and still had time to chat on the way up. Holy Moly.   

We also had a Single Speed racer and that was bloody awesome.   

Props to 10 yr olf Joshua - he was my security detail. Rolling 49 refrigerated half liter tins in backpack - one needs protection from warring thugs who would yell " Stand and Deliver ". Joshua had a super awesome climb and everyone topside got to partake in the cold golden bounty.   

without further ado . . .  

Chief of Race - Stephan Courture   

Air Bosses / Timing / Ident / Pace Vehicle -   Carli Van Oene , Melissa Jack , Elina Painchaud   

Start Detail & Jokes - Jason Backman   

Family Support - Cowies , Perkins , Haaheims  

Just there for the Beer - House of Mean   

I need to confirm some things on timing - so for now we're going to post the awesomeness that is our racers.   We'll update times soon.   


Marg Fedyna  

Juinior Men  

Joshua Perkins   

Joel Worman  

Eric Worman  

Erik Haaheim  


Joe Wessel  

Matthew Van Nostrand  

Sam Horn 

Seth Cowie 

Adam Coppock 

Matt Brown  

Single Speed Champeen  

Craig Mo  

Domestique King Kong KOM   

49 refrigerated Half Liter Tins 

Brent Prokop


'18 results

BOA Time Trials No. 7 - '18

Hosted by Fresh Air Concept   

A @#%ing Westerly made our racers really work for the results. Calm then gust then surge only to sputter. As Eric Rayson said " we can't change it - just race in it ".   So when you read the times below - factor add some nasty gusts.  

Some old faces showed up - some Provicial Champ jerseys showed up. I love our racing community - we have some awesome human beings in our collective. Thanks always the volys - thank you.   

without further ado . . .   

Chief of Race / Swiss Timing - Lowrider Martin Tymm  

Anti-Gravity Unit - Mr. Trevor Haaheim   

Top End Vehicular Management - Jay & Tina Ferguson   

Family Support - Tasha Cowie & Cole Cowie, Dannica Stevenson  

Herding Cats - the Fat Kid   

Senior Women   

Judy Lloyd 32:46   

Junior Women   

Rachael Green 31:05  


Carol Brady 27:43  

Senior Men  

Rayson Eric Min 27:13  

Junior Men  

Erik Haaheim 26:11   

Noah Rubuliak 29:24  


Seth Cowie 20:22 RACE WINNER   

Shogun Jesse Vanoene 21:04 

Conor Martin 21:14 

Trevor Wurtele 21:17 

Dustin Quigley 21:49  

Gary Wade 22:33 

Adam Coppock EM 24:22 

Hardeman Cross Climbson  24:33

Craig Horon EM 27:09  

June Springs Hill Climb Thursday - see YOU there


'18 results

Brian Van Oene Crit No. 7 - '18

Hosted by Fresh Air Concept   

Yup - the weather snorted, wheezed, roared, and spit - but never did it stop the BVO Crits. The diehards showed up - and rewarded they did bounty. Props to ALL the volys and ALL the racers. She was blasty fast out there.   

Chief of Race made the call and the Start/Finis went Old School along the straightaway. As a racer it makes for a faster Corner 4 - as a voly/spectator the speed these cats generate is exponential compared to topside.   

The monster was released again last night - Mr. Seth Cowie decided to make it a show. The kid from Melbourne hung on and the chase group never had a chance. Fast racing lads.   

Honestly we could have our Air Boss and CoR run these Crits just the two of them. Yours truly was getting corrected on who the rider up was . Thank you ladies I am an idiot. Ha ha   

All we had was an A Group - so the prizing was pooled.  Racers please note we call " pack primes " so when you hear a Prime Bell go off - NEVER assume the " dudes in front have it ". Never. 

without further ado .. . .   

Chief of Race - Carli Van Oene   

Air Boss - Melissa Jack   

Corner 2 Vehicular Management - Trevor Odlum  

Corner 3 Vehicular Management - Jay   

Corner 4 Vehiclular Management - Tina Ferguson  

Limo Driver & Logostics - Martin Tymm, Noel Tymm   

Lap Timing/ Splits/ Gaps - Ryan Pannell   

Super Mom & Dad's No. 1 Fan - Tasha Cowie & Cole Cowie   

De Vliegende Hollander - Graham Pierce  

Video Mule - Care Bear Sean Williams   


1st Place Seth Cowie  

2nd Place Dean Broomham  

3rd Place Shogun Jesse Vanoene  

4th Place Matt Brown  

5th Place Mark Sherman   

$ 25 PRIMES  

Dean Broomham  

Mark Sherman X2 

Seth Cowie 

Jesse Vanoene  

Matt Brown


'18 results

BOA Time Trials No. 6 - '18

Hosted by Fresh Air Concept   

A good showing of riders considering many of the usuals were in travel to Chicoutimi for U19 Nationals. A funky Westerly that had racers commenting on it's substance post-race.   

Best of all local grommet Erik Haaheim had but hours earlier had both his forearm casts removed - and went TT racing. He suffered a flat durting race and still brought her home. A Gordie Howe hat trick if I ever did hear of one. Props Erik.   

Between Hip Pointer and JT - our voly crew looked like we sent the bus to Missionwood Retirement Resort :-D . Just ask JT about his Sunday Round the Lake casual roll with Dalton. . .   

Also - I have no idea what the eff is going on for gravel loads on Old Vernon - but I am having to sweep the start chute of crud at EVERY race. Geez. Just hope it's faring better on rest of tarmac loop.   

without further ado . . .   

Chief of Race - Shattered Legs Tomm   

Tag Heuer Timing - Brian   

Anti-Gravity Unit - Hip Pointer Haaheim   

North End Vehicular Management - Jay & Tina Ferguson   

Hobart Engineer - Sals   


Helen Parr 27:19 

Tamara Paradis 27:37 

Kendra Jacobs 30:10  

Junior Men   

Erik Haaheim 33:37   

Senior Men  

Rayson Eric Min 28:17  


Shogun Jesse Vanoene 21:21 

Trevor Wurtele 21:28 

Dustin Quigley 21:45  

Eric Simpson 21:58  

Gary Wade 22:53  

Mark Sherman 24:25  

Marty Tymm DNF

Shiny Shoe EM division 

Craig Horon 27:24


'18 results

Brian Van Oene Crit No. 6 - '18

Hosted by Team Vagtastic Voyage


What an awesome community of riders & volys we have here in the Okanagan. Quite a few peeps from Penticton and Vernon came into K for our Crit action. Shayne Wright even helped voly . Props indeed.  

The weather is as it's always this time of year - a brooding mess of seeming fury that alas putters out and allows for good racing fun.  

The Wedgers are loving life and their own little hunk of Jim Bailey time.  

And best of alll - our topside Command & Control was all female brass - and they handled it with laughs. Thank you ladies - you make us all look good - but never as good as you all.  Remember folks - C&C is tabulating/managing 3 separate groups for race time, primes, finish placings. As the groups split and mingle - this is no easy task.  

Without further ado . . .  

Chief of Race - Carli Van Oene  

Air Bosses - Melissa Jack, Glynis Shaw, Valentina Miller 

Corner 3 Vehicular Control - Shayne Wright 

Paparazzi - Stacey Shand & Luke Way 

Video Mule - Gummi Bear Sean Williams 

Ident - Rambo-shades Guidi  

Corner 1 Sweep & Vehicular Control - the Fat Kid  

Birthday Lad - Conor Martin  


1st Place Baili Guidi 

2nd Place Shogun Jesse Vanoene 

3rd Place Conor Martin  

A GROUP $20 Primes  

Baili Guidi X2 

Conor Martin  


1st Place Noah Rubuliak  

2nd Place Brodie Wright  

3rd Place Doug Shaw  

WEDGE GROUP $ 10 Primes  

Tyler Nerbas X2 

Noah Rubuliak  


1st Place Kendra Shaw  

2nd Place Jacob Miller  

3rd Place Jack Screen  

B GROUP $ 10 Primes  

Kendra Shaw X3


'18 results

Knox Mtn Hill Climb No. 2 - '18

Hosted by Fresh Air Concept   

A humid outing. Lot's of interesting characters at the base of Knox on a Tuesday night. Notable was the older fellow on a Segway with US Postal panniers scooting up Knox Mtn Drive like he owned the place. Head shaker   

Special nod to the following peoples - the volys we get are super dooper human beings - even if they're being forced by their boss to work voly. Ha ha Some of you will get the nickname connection - others will have never even heard of the TV show.   

without further ado   

Chief of Race & Topside Timing - " Hannibal " Tymm   

Signup & Start Chief - " Howling Mad " Dubz   

Wheelie Dude and Security - " Faceman " Brian   

Landscape Architecture & Finish Line Timing - Carli Van Oene   

40-gallon-drum-lung Shouties - Rider 34   

Did-absolutely-nuttin' - " B.A. " Prokop   

Defence, race & Coach - Luke Way  


Marg Fedyna 12:01 

Alesha Miller 12:47  

Erika Bisser 14:31   

Junior Men  

Jacob Rubuliak 9:21  RACE WINNER  

Conor Martin 9:21:30  

Brock Hoel 9:22 

Eric Worman 10:25  

Joel Worman 10:40   

James Neddham 11:13  

Iwan Levin 13:09  


Luke Way 11:37 

Bob Chew 11:45

Craig Mo 13:29


' 18 results

Brian Van Oene Criterium No. 5 - '18

Hosted by Team Vagtastic Voyage  

Okay a lot to get posted here - so off we go.   


Is now a staple. Whilst last night's numbers won't show it - the post-race discussions had 6 firm members kibbutzing about next week. Placings , primes , and incentive to nip at the A Group's heels.   


Ratings wise - 10 x $ 10 buck primes rates a tire width behind the elimination Crit for pure misery. Our A Group race was a blasty fast one last night. Remember - if it was easy no one would show up.   


Luke & Stacey were at Crit last night - and pix were taken.   The gnome-garden-KOM killer Derek was too. They're both now admins so hopefully we see some visuals posted soon.   


Last night was the 1st time this year I got to plunk myself in Command & Control for a Crit - and it was a blast. Thanks to to ladies for keeping on top of multiple multiple groups and calling and sighting primes. Our aim is for everyone to have a good time - even if they suffer during the race. My write-up banter is always to keep it fresh and entertaining - but I do make mistakes. Smile as I bash the keyboard away.   

without further ado . . .   

Chief of Race - Carli Van Oene   

Executive Officer - Melissa Jack  

Number Board & Logistics - Alina   

Paparazzi & Cheer - Luke Way & Stacey Shand  

Vehicular Management - Tina Ferguson & Jay   

Family Support - Valentina Miller , Jenni Rubuliak , the Rubuliak clan , Tanya Westby   

Most bitching petrol rig - Mark Sherman   

Rolled down from Vernon for a pint - Velo Pucci   

Best finish-line grimace - Jacob Rubuliak  

Best during race grimace - Sean Williams   


1st Place Jacob Miller   

2nd Place Sean Kelly   

$ 20 Prime   

Jacob Miller   


1st Place Gord McInnes  

2nd Place - Kev Forneris   

$ 20 Prime  

Gord McInnes  


1st Place Alesha Miller  


1st Place Seth Cowie   

2nd Place Conor Martin  

3rd Place Jacob Rubuliak  

4th Place Jesse Vanoene  

$ 10 Primes 

Seth Cowie X5  

Mark Sherman   

Brock Hoel  

Jesse Vanoene 

Graham Pierce 

Conor Martin 

Jacob Rubuliak  


hosted by Fresh Air Concept   

THURSDAY June 14th - BVO CRIT   

hosted by Kelowna Cycle Old Guard


'18 results

BOA Time Trials No. 5 - '18

Hosted by Kelowna Cycle Old Guard   

perseverance [pur-suh-veer-uh ns]   noun  1.steady persistence in a course of action, a purpose, a state, etc., especially in spite of difficulties, obstacles, or discouragement.  

Doubleshot of perseverance last night.   

1. The crud of Corner 1 was fully swept from before the driveway and apex all the way along to McKenzie. Some safety now for all of you rolling Old Vernon.   

2. No matter the numbers - the TTs continue. Whether it's school activities or post race voids - there's a number of regulars that will eventually show.   

Folks we had blister conditions last night. A limp windsock at the areodrome and a baby-smooth Corner 1. All 3 racers rocked and Sethy did another mid 19 to keep us all smiling.   

Props to Erik - this lad really helped out.   

in the meantime and without further ado . . .   

Chief of Race & Anti-gravity unit -  Hip pointer Trevor   

Signup & Timing & Equipment cleanup - Tamara Paradis & Martin Courtenay  

Corner 1 handjob Zamboni  - the Fat Kid  

Northside Vehicular Management   - Erik Haaheim & the Fat Kid   

Should feel shame for rolling course and not racing  - Kiwi Dean Broomham  

Junior Men  

Conor Martin 21:45 3rd Place   


Seth Cowie 19:39 1st Place   

Shogun Jesse Vanoene 21:01 2nd Place


'18 Results

June Springs Hill Climb No. 1 - '18

Hosted by Kelowna Cycle Old Guard & assorted deplorables


Laughs - a tonne thereof - and records broken. 

The hype came to fruition and two goofballs strapped twenty ( 20 ) half liter tins to their body and did the climb. Props to Curtis Dodd and myself for just not giving a sh&t what the fashion police said. We carried 10 liters of beer each topside. And it was refrigerated too . .  yes we looked like wanna be suicide bombers - thank goodness neither of us know Arabic . 

The highmark is at 10 liters - but by the post-race talk - the next JS Hill Climb June 28th and Knox Hill Climb June 12th - will likely see this number fall. The following new rules apply for those of you thinking of attacking the Domestique King Kong KOM. 

- all liquids must be refrifgerated - warm tins = DSQ
- backpacks allowed
- SAFETY 1st not 3rd. Don't be strapping an actual keg to your back - it weighs 160 pounds there snackshack.
- all items carried topside must be shared with volys, fellow racers, spectators.
- be creative 

There are photos from last night - Tamara and Trisha are now admins. So photos will get uploaded - but be warned. Graphic content - viewer discretion is advised. Small children may cry in horror. . ha ha ha 

without further ado . . I have many many a voly to thank.
If I miss anyone - text me and I'll correct asap. 

Chief of Race - Hip pointer Trevor Haaheim 

Signup & Start Duties - Martin Courtenay & Tamara Paradis
Paparazzi - Tamara Paradis , Trisha Hodgins
Topside Crew
   Shouties & Ident - Shogun Jesse Vanoene, Shane Worman
   First Aid & Triage for some dumb sh&t - Carli Van Oene
   Ident & there for the Beer - Robert Rob Blackwell
   Timing & Support -  Nicole Barby , Trisha Hodgins , Melissa Jack ,
    Teri Lynn Blackwell, the Mathers Kid
El Camino Lowrider - Colby Patricia Large
Pace Car ( besides Carli , Martin, Trevor, Robert ) Baili Guidi
Race Support for the Goofballs - Chris Rubuliak
Head Coach - Trisha Hodgins 

Junior Women 

Ana Large  20:27
Carolyn Shaw  26:00


Alesha Miller  18:49
Marg Fedyna  19:01

Junior Men 

Conor Martin  14:55 RACE WINNER & NEW RECORD
Jacob Rubuliak  15:01  3rd OVERALL
Eric Worman  16:31
Joel Worman 16:57
Noah Rubuliak  18:48

Senior Men 

Rayson Eric Min  27:04 @ 80 yrs old !!


Seth Cowie  14:57 2nd OVERALL
Brad Bickley  16:35
Bob Chew  17:32
Welsh Adam Coppock  17:35
Punk Eric Simpson 17:50
Ryan Moir  18:30
Matt Brown  18:40
Doug Shaw  19:21
Craig Mo  23:05

Domestique King Kong KOM
a whopping 10 liters of beer each - 20 half liter tins.
( time was not recorded as these two were DFL ). 

Curtis Dodd & Brent Prokop

Thank you all - glad we could provide humour for all. My ribs are not happy today. Just saying. 

See YOU at the Time Trial Tuesday !!!


'18 results

BOA Time Trials No. 4 - '18

Hosted by Kelowna Cycle Old Guard  

Yup - the weather was sketchy, and everyone was in recovery mode from a waist-deep amount of events from the weekend. 

As always - we runned the TT cause she will never die on my watch. 

Special props to all that were in attendance - volys, bystanders, racers.  Headwind on way out and flat on way back. High humidity and a spit of rain apres race.  

Also - we were fortunate enough to have one of the New Zealand CX National Team members on site. And yes - he did steal a tall tin , and no he didn't sign autographs.  

without further ado . .  

Chief of Race - Erik Haaheim 

Anti-gravity Unit - Trevor Haaheim  

Timing - Richard Loney  

North End Vehicular Management - Craig Horon & a still repugnant Mike Ricci  

Limo Driver for Race Winner - Mike Ricci  

Senior Women  

Judy Lloyd 33:25  

Senior Men  

Rayson Eric Min 29:34  


Seth Cowie 20:09 

Mark Sherman 21:57 

Jesse Vanoene 22:19 

Eric Simpson 22:27


'18 Results

Brian Van Oene Criterium No. 4 - '18

Hosted by Kelowna Cycle Old Guard  

Points of Note  

WEDGE Group  

This is going to stick. Whilst last night we only had our Wedge President rolling it - the potential is there. Three A Groupers could have been in the Wedge - and it would have been good racing. Gordo has some ideas for the group - for prizing and placings - so keep posted.  


If your Bike Shop Chief slates you for voly action - and you show up and just race ( even after I asked you to voly ) - you have failed in my books. I've worked all 6 events this year - nothing you say or do - excuses dropping the ball. The year end Annual is going to have a Shame List - and last night's wondrous putz made the list.  

On the opposite side of voly action . . .  Special Thanks to the amazing couple David & Monica Nelson who eptimiize what we love in volunteers. They have been amazing in the two events they've worked already !!  


Pictured above is " Jim Bailey " . Our resident Momma Bear Melissa rescued him crossing the road ( during race ) and they looked for a nest. No dice. So after getting a whole lot of love and snuggles during race - Jim was taken to Fairfield Hospital for rehab and a new chance. I just pray Carli never takes Melissa to the Mall - cause she'll find some lost elderly person and want to take her home - ha ha ha kidding.  Thank you Melissa you are an awesome human being. 

without further ado . . .  

Chief of Race - Carli Van Oene ( awesome job ! ) 

Executive Officer & Signup - Monica Nelson  

Conservation Officer - Melissa Jack  

Air Boss in training - Alina  

VIP - Jim Bailey  

Corner 3 Operaations - David Nelson  

Corner 4 Operations - a repugnant Mike Ricci  

Cinematography - Sean Williams

Course Recon - Gumper 

B Group ( uber Juniors and 1 awesome Senior )  

1st Place Brody Wright  

2nd Place Jacob Miller  

3rd Place Eric Rayson  

$ 50 Prime  Brody Wright  

WEDGE Group  

1st Place Gord McInnes  

A Group  

1st Place Matt Brown 

2nd Place Sean Williams  

3rd Place Richard Loney  

$ 50 Primes  

Matt Brown 

Sean Williams  

See YOU Tuesday for some Time Trial action. Still waiting for Colby Large to show up in his sausage skinsuit and rage a Trinity. . . ha ha


'18 results

BOA TIme Trials No. 3 - '18

Hosted by Lake Country Cycle & Kelowna Cycle Old Guard   

Perfect weather. Windsock was limp , Sun was out , and everyone is saving themselves for a weekend of compounded events of conflicted interest. This weekend alone is Hayman Classic, Okanagan Shuswap Century Ride, and Provincials TT and Crit. Most important of these events is JAFNRs Trail Day No. 8 ( yes we've already done SEVEN days of gruntwork in Crawford for your riding pleasure ) - so if you want to be a part of some epic work - contact me.   

As soon as this post goes up - a few raceday posters are being uploaded. You best pay attention to our next few events. Giddy up it's going to be a barrel of laughs.   

Props again to all listed below. Cannot say it enough that the community makes our events happen. Also we've been witness to a 2nd sub 20 minute TT this year - only Cory and Cyrus used to bang 'em off like Mr. Cowie is. That's two sub 20 minute TTs in three events. We are lucky to have this dude around.   

without further ado . . .   

Chief of Race - Cameron Donald   

Anti-Gravity Unit - Trevor Haaheim   

Timing and Race Start - David Nelson   

Vehiicular Management South - Monica Nelson   

Vehicular Management North - Craig Horon & Scooby Doo  

Floater - Dean Broomham   

EM = Eddy Merckx rolling a standard road bike   

Junior Women   

Carolyn Shaw EM 29:46  


Helen Parr EM 26:49 

Kendra Jacobs EM 31:00   

Junior Men  

Conor Martin EM 21:41  

Senior Men  

Rayson Eric Min 28:05  


Seth Cowie 19:56  

Shogun Jesse Vanoene 21:10 

Dustin Quigley 21:27  

Mark Sherman 21:53 

Doug Shaw EM 24:16 

Craig Mo EM 25:32  

Thanks again all who came out !


'18 results

Brian Van One Crit No. 3

Hosted by Lake Country Cycle  

Post debrief write-up is going to be a tad longer than usual. A lot to cover.   


We're always trying to work our races so the supporters have fun and the racers are challenged and embrace the suck.   


Everyone knows our Primes are never the same and can happen anytime - your Air Bosses make the call. I stand behind what they do no matter. If they miss 1 full Crit of Primes and call every lap a Prime on the next - I'd say you're almost a Spartan if you survive. So smile.   


In almost every ride call for JAFNR - as is one of our policies - the mantra is stated " Enhance your environment - don't pollute it ". Our Start / Finish area is a common ground for supporters AND volunteers to enjoy our racing. If you plunk your arse in this locale and 1. not voly ever and 2. critique aloud every rider that goes by - you and I will lock horns sooner than later. If you've nothing nice to say about Joe Hunch Back or Sally Seat Too High - SHUT your mouth.   

You're in OUR friendly zone of fun.   We are a grassroots racing venue that is open to any and all that want to have fun. We've been on this course over 25 years - and on my watch - she's not stopping anytime soon.   

Please read this as polite constructive criticism - cause if I'm told it happens again - you and I get to have a little chat. I'm too fecking busy to tolerate this - so my candor will be frank and the outcome will not be pretty.   


Our B Group needs a tweaking. There are racers that are too fast for Bs and not always there in As. We now have a new category. The Wedge. Wedge Racers will start 15 seconds after As and 15 seconds before Bs. I want our B Group to be clear of peoples that grenade it.   At Race Start we'll let you know where you size up based on prior racing.   


This format gets some racers giddy and other racers puke. If and when we do this - there has to be 35+ racers and it will be a race start call. Only after 20 minutes will we start remoive 1 racer per lap. Yes you spend money to come race - yes our $5 entry fee can't even buy you a poofy whip cream Latte - yes it's good for you.   

Last night's venue was awesome . Again I'm blown away by the dedicated volys that make YOUR racing happen. My call-out is Craig Horon. This stallion has been helping the Fat Kid flag every race. E v e r y race people. Craig doesn't drink beer - so the next time you see him - comment how shiny and waxed you think his Subaru is. Don't make fun of his flowing locks - he gets that at work all day. . . thank you sir for your help.   

Emily - you missed picking up your race winnings. We'll have them for you next week.   

Without further ado . . .   

Chief of Race - HRH Cameron Donald  

Air Boss - Carli Van One   

Dog Whisperer - Melissa Jack   

Ident - Baili Guidi  

Best Mom Ever - Glynis Shaw  

Corner 3 Operations - Craig Horon  

Corner 2 Operations and Strip Tease - Sean Williams  

Corner 4 Hag - an odious Ryan Ellis   

B Group   

1st Place Kendra Shaw !!  

2nd Place Emily Cheyne  

3rd Place Skye Lark   

4th Place Sean Kelly   

Next week the B Group gets FOUR primes to make up for the gluttony of the Wedger. Ha ha   

WEDGE Group   

1st Place Handsome Devil Gord McInnes  


Gordo x 2  A Group   


1st Place Matt Brown   

2nd Place Big Bad Jesse Vanoene  

3rd Place Monster Seth Cowie   


1st Place Alesha Miller   


Jay Delaney  

Seth Cowie  

Marty Heck   

Thank you all - and a special thanks to all the traffic - save for the passive aggressive courier truck driver in his personal vehicle - you'rer a real Peach mate.


'18 results

BOA TT Series Knox Mtn. Hill Climb No. 1

Hosted by Mountain Equipment Coop       

There's a former annual competition the Royal Navy ( if you have to ask what country - stop now and feel shame ) ran. The Field Gun Competition. There are some fantastic YouTube videos of it before it's demise.      

Essentially it was two groups of competitors that run - climb - gap - and tunnel a 900 + lb Field Gun with ammunition carriage - back and forth an obstacle course 3 times. Assemble - disassemble - zip line across course - climb walls - you name it. It pitted groups like Fleet Air Arm vs Portsmouth and trust me - it filled the stadium with fans and military members alike. Were they drinking whilst watching ? - I frigging hope so. 

The teamwork required to complete this course is without parallel. Yes injuries - and very bad ones occured - but you're zip lining a 900 lb gun with two blokes as ballast ?!      My point is - it is the paramount of what teamwork can be. I got a super strong sense of such a cohesive unit tonight.   Both racers and volys alike. No I'm not drunk - it was just very cool to see a sense of community on both sides.      

We also had the treat of watching our solo Domestique haul 6 tall tins up Knoxy like a true pirate. . . Yarrrggh      

without further ado . . .      

Chief of Race - Nicole Barby  

XO & Security - Trisha Hodgins  

Start Chief & Conservation Antiquities - Kate Scorah   

Start & Finish Detail - Carmen Lindsay   

Pilot Car - the Guidis   

Shouties - Shane Wroman & Richard Loney   

Ferd Stud buggy - Colby Large   

busboy - a hideous Brent Burns      

Junior Women   

Ana Large  13:23  

Kendra Shaw  17:28  

Carolyn Shaw  19:49     


Alesha Miller  12:42  

Emily Cheyne  14:01  

Erika Biser  14:45  

Helen Parr  15:53  

Carolyn Switzer  17:54  

Sarah Campbell 20:14      

Domestique - 6 refrigerated Tall Tins in jersey ( my hero )   

Doug Shaw  13:41     

Junior Men  

Baili Guidi 9:21 RACE WINNER  

Jacob Rubuliak a half wheel back !! 9:21:20  

Eric Worman 10:10  

Conor Martin 10:17 

Jacob Miller  14:44       


Baili Guidi  9:21 RACE WINNER  

Jacob Rubuliak a half wheel back !! 9:21:20  

Eric Worman 10:10  

Conor Martin  10:17  

Seth Cowie  10:41  

Brad Bickley  10:49  

Graham Hood  11:06  

Geddan Ruddock  11:35  

Dustin Quigley  11:43  

Eric Simpson  12:01  

Adam Coppock  12:11  

Jesse Vanoene  12:47  

Craig Mo  13:53  

Handsome Devil Gord McInnes  14:27  

ALSO -   Someone picked up the wrong black saddle bag from our van - please DM me or slowtwitch@live.ca if you've the wrong one. please.      

Thanks to all volys - it was FUN in a smart ass laugh your ass off kind of way.


'18 Results

Brian Van Oene Crit No. 2

tor-rent [tawr-uh nt, tor-]   noun

1. a stream of water flowing with great rapidity and violence.   

2. a rushing, or abundant and unceasing stream of happy banter from the big mouthed Fat Kid ( 10 out of 10 Crit racers surveyed agreed it's a very BIG mouth 😁 )

Brian Van Oene Crtierium No. 2 for 2018  

Hosted by Lake Country Cycle  http://www.lakecountrycycle.ca/


The torrent at Bubna Rd ( Corner 3 ) is .5 meter from overflowing the bridge up to AJ Forsythe & Russell Metals. Site Engineer Craig Horon calls it for when it will happen not if. Seems the fabricating businesses up there agree - hence the Elephant Graveyard of rebar-puked on flatdecks lining both sides of the road from Corner 3 to Corner 4.   

Props to all vehicular traffic last night as they all worked with the flow of the race and not one errant driver went clockwise.   

IF the torrent washes out the bridge - the brainstormers in long-rage planning at the 2nd Floor offices of BOA have a contigency plan on alternate site or two. As a teaser - an Aussie Pursuit RR on our TT course . . . heh heh  We'll keep a watch on this - and will advise if need be,   

Also - no sarcastic pommies were harmed with bags of citrus fruit last night - as the rain kept bay. Although it would have been wicked to have had a fire pit at Start / Finish as it was THAT cold.

Without further ado . . .   

Chief of Race - Louis Cam Donald

Site Advisory & Counsel - Paul Mier  

Air Bosses - Carli Van Oene , Melissa Jack   

Air Boss in training - Elina   

Gypsy Caravan Support - the Martins   

Motorhand & Field Operations Corner 1 - Sean Guidi   

GeoTech & Corner 3 Operations - Craig Horon   

Corner 4 Hag - buffet-killer Phil Kessel   

Pizza Face - Colby Large   

B Group   

1st Place - Jaxon Slaney   

2nd Place - Ana Large   

3rd Place - Ryan Moir   

$ 20 Primes   

Ryan Moir   

Jaxon Slaney   

A Group   

1st Place - Conor Martin   

2nd Place - Richard Loney   

3rd Place - Dean Broomham  

$ 20 Primes   

Baili Guidi x 2   

Big Bad Jesse Vanoene   

Conor Martin


'18 Results

BOA TT No. 2

the community) The people of a district or country considered collectively, especially in the context of social values and responsibilities; society.  

BOA Time Trial No. 2 for 2018  

Hosted by https://www.facebook.com/lccycle/  

Whilst we're race two and early in the Season - the commraderie and synergy is everywhere. Each and every person that is listed below is apart of the community that is Time Trial and Crit racing since 1983. Not one person can lay claim to all - it's the community that makes our events happen.   

And please rub your eyes and re-read the scary fast rocket that is the Sethinator. Proof positive that Trainer Road pockets you REAL results through the Winter - unlike this inflated hollow shite called Zwift.  

 without further ado . . .   

Chief of Race - Cameron Louis Donald   

XO & TAG Heuer timing - Paul Mier   

Ident - Dustin Quigley  

Vehicular Management South - Bill Slaney Commissaire  

Northern Flag Hags - Craig Horon & a clock stopping ugly Fat Kid  

Anti-gravity unit - Mr. T. Haaheim   

Executive Producer - Sean Guidi   

Course Recon Deplorables - Richard Loney Brandon S Archer  

Junior Women   

Jaxon Slaney 26:40  

Junior Men   

Baili Guidi 20:49  

Conor Martin EM 22:03  


Rocket Seth Cowie 19:28 -> avg Watts 388  

Baili Guidi 20:49 

Graham Hood 20:50  

Jesse Vanoene 21:31 

Gord McInnes 23:57  

Roadside Wrench ( suffered flat & fixed it - with NO patch kit )  

Busta Adam Coppock 24:48  

See YOU at Crit No. 2 on Thursday.


'18 results

Brian Van Oene Criterium One ' 18

Hosted by Lake Country-Cycle  

Yes the Tour de Bloom County is on this weekend ( most of you won't get that unless I quip about " Bill the Cat " or " Opus " or " Fabulous Steve " ha ha ha ).   

No that doesn't mean we stop the action. . .   Yours truly has found his 17th calling as a flag hag - and funstuff it was.   

Without further ado . . .   

Chief of Race - Donald Cameron   

Air Bosses - Carli Van Oene & Mellissa Jack   

Commissaire - William Slaney III

Ident - Janet Slaney  

112 under boot - Craig Horon

Corner 3 Flagger - Handsome Devil Trevor Haaheim  

Corner 1 Sweep & Flag - A hideous ugly Joe Thornton   

Course Marshall with TB - Adam Coppock  

Penalty Review Boss - Kari Haaheim   

B Group Overall  

1st Place - that other handsome devil Gord McInnes  

2nd Palce - Brody Wright   

3rd Palce - Jaxon Slaney   


1st Place Jaxon Slaney   

2nd Skye Lark  

Senior Men  

1st Place Rayson Eric Min  

2nd Place Sean Kelly   

$ 20 Primes   

Brody Wright  

Gord McInnes  

A Group Overall   

1st Place Big Bad Jesse Vanoene

2nd Place Brandon S Archer   

3rd Place Sheadon Thomson  

4th Place Little Chubby Cuddle Bear Sean Williams  

5th Place Erik Haaheim  

$ 20 Primes   

Tyler Nerbas   

Erik Haaheim  

Half Day Sean Williams

Most Aggressive Rider of Night   Gary Wade   

C Group Riders - Welcome Aboard !!  

Max Wright   

Nate Benn   

See YOU next Tuesday at the TT. . .


'18 Results

BOA TT No. 1

Hosted by Lake Country-Cycle

Great turnout for race one. Some old faces and some new ones.The windsock at the aerodrome was showing a slight westerly but calmed down. Heavy air of humidity always May is. So our racers made the best of it and some holeshot first season times already. 

Our 6 delineators made the Fat Kid most happy with the buffer they created between start chute riders & traffic. 

Without further ado . . .

Chief of Race - Cameron Donald

Vehicular Management North - Jay & Tina Ferguson

Vehicular Management South - Bill Slaney 

Executive Producer - Sean Guidi 

107 under boot - Craig Horon

Cinematographer - Dirk Handke

Anti-gravity unit - the Fat Kid 

Junior Women 

Jaxon Slaney  26:31

Carolyn Shaw  29:09

Kendra Shaw  29:32


Helen Parr  27:24

Senior Men 

Rayson Eric Min  28:19

Shawn Roberts  29:03

Junior Men

Baili Guidi  21:44

Conor Martin  EM  22:13

Erik Haaheim  EM  23:41


Jesse Vanoene  20:49

Dustin Quigley  21:11

Mark Sherman  21:35

Eric Simpson  21:43

Graham Hood  EM  23:01

Doug Shaw  EM  24:51

Craig Mo  CX  26:34

If I got anything wrong let me know and I'll correct it. 

See YOU Thursday at Crit One '18