Brian Van Oene Crit No. 16

Hosted by Lake Country-Cycle ( the shop not the person )   

Well Holy Moly are you lot in luck. The quietest Dude all Season in the spectator queue - turns out to be a effing superb paparazzi. Enclosed below are pics from Trevor Nerbas. WOW. Love every one of them - it really encapsulates our Crits - and it's got almost every one of you mutts and ladies. I really love the B&W one with Hardeman Cross Climbson just giving 'er in from of Jesse Vanoene and Conor Martin The facial expression says " that post-race beer better be FROSTY ". Well that's what I see anyways . . ha ha   

I'm going to thank Trevor again and see if he's got anything from earlier in the Season. Wow this was a super awesome surprise. I had a chat with him prior to race and said - take your best shots - Trevor literally did that just.   

And if any of you chime in on comments that you " look fat in your kit " - there's a 50 beer penalty. Ha ha   

Local clipped chassis rocket Seth Cowie came as promised and thankfully had clothes on. Lot's of laughs even though he was drinking weird beer ( ha ha ).   

The parking lot at the stadium was chock-a-block full and that said it all. Nearly everyone brought the familia to watch the best Beer League Street Circuit Racing you ever did see.   

Always always - a nod of respect and thanks to the volys listed below. The series doesn't run without the volys.   

We gave cheap Primes and laid out ALL the cash for 1st place. I think it worked as from Corner 4 it all looked blasty.   

Again - we had a 70 year difference in ages with Rayson Eric Min and Joshua having fun on our course. Badass on Wikepdia should have a pic of Eric Rayson. Just saying.   

Thank you all - this Season has been a blast. Way more sweeping than I ever envisioned - but an effing ripper magoo series.   

Season results will get posted - be patient. I'm going to get back to my first love - drinking beer in the bush and carving away deadfall. Myra Bellevue is a rough gem and the trail user parties witn BC Parks ignore her daily.   

without further ado . . .   

Chief of Race / Swiss Timing - Cameron Donald  

Signup / Executive Officer / Corner 3 Hag - Sean " Rambo Shades " Sean Guidi  

Course Paparazzi - Trevor Nerbas   

Corner 2 Gendarme - Bill Slaney   

Corner 4 Janitorial & Windmill Hag - Sals   


1st Place - Matt Brown  

2nd Place - Baili Guidi ( last pic shows how close this battle was ! )  

3rd Place - Matthew Van Nostrand   

$ 5 PRIMES  

Matt Brown  

Shogun Jesse Vanoene X2  

Hoser Dean Broomham  


1st Place - Eric Norkum  

2nd Place - Tyler Nerbas  

3rd Place - Ryan Moir   

$ 5 PRIME   

Eric Norkum   


1st Place - Rayson Eric Min  

2nd Place - Joshua Perkins   

3rd Place - Tony Perkins


'18 results

BOA TT No. 16

Hosted by Mountain Equipment Co-op MEC   

The last one. Sixteen cracks at the course , always hoping for low air humidity, low winds, and a low volume of motorists on Old Vernon. The magic recipe for blistering times.   

Last night the winds were nil, the windsock at the aerodrome limp, but the volume of traffic could have been lighter. Six hearty racers came out and bid adieu to our '18 season.   

Sals yet again swept Corner 1 - the pics may not show as much crud as two weeks ago - but the bacon bits were all over the table and not the plate.   

I will be closing off the season with award postings, and a few posters. As a conclusion to the year . . a few words.   

BOA is a club of 2 events. Whilst the non-Zen and soulless rider will call out the negatives to a TT - the true riders pedal and breathe the truth. A Time Trial is a brief, insanely demanding race that gives you the opportunity to set the bar, raise the bar, break the bar.   

Our racers all endure the same conditions - but they are not racing each other. They are pitted against the clock - against a prior PR ( personal record ) - against themselves. A battle ensues on the tarmac yet no blood is shed, nor any battle cries to shake the walls of Valhalla.   

Rugby is called out for being a " gentleman's sport " where foes exchange padded tales and replays post-game with beer. A Time Trial eclipses the grudge match on the pitch - as our racers need not the team to reach the goal. An 80- year old and a 14 year old battle their inner demons to push and scrape seconds away from a prior best. 

The post-race commraderie is like no other. Current-day Ironman winners rub shoulders with first-timers and road cylists and not a whiff of ego or bragger's folly spoken. All commend each other for a full effort and laugh about some pudgy moron flagger windmilling his arms at the North end to spur them on.   The racers mingle with the Volunteers and the conversation universal and empowering. And yes the Fat Kid will drop fun banter where needed.   

Our Time Trail is 35 years young - Svein ( say Swayne ) Tuft is our course record holder - but we all hold our own course record. The soul riders I call the " Iron Locomotives " race both our Crits and TTs. They are a special breed and you should look and listen at the calm confidence in which they conduct themselves - on and off the tarmac.   

To race TTs is to open yourself to the fresh challenge. Equipment buys you seconds - but your off-season base miles is your A game for the year.   Whether a first timer, or a couple years-in riding, or a grizzled veteran - our TT racers get it. The kit need not be flashy or even coordinated, the bike need not be stealth and skunk works - it's the desire to push and the inner Grrrr to attack the tarmac like never done before.   

The BOA TTs will continue year in, year out. The schedule will NOT be reduced . This race is such a punch to the gut that you cannot wait to do again. You want the chance to attack Old Vernon and you cannot wait to do it again.   

Eventually I am going to spark up my reactor and get on Old Vernon to race again. I'm excited but patient. The course is my teacher and I it's pupil. There is always more to learn about the race and myself - the teaching never ends.   

without further ado . . .   

Chief of Race / Timing - Carmen Lindsay   

Swiss Timing - Kim Snyder   

Sign-Up & North End Duties - Jake MacKenzie   

Janitorial & North End Duties - Bhuddist Sals   


Judy Lloyd 31:43  


Shogun Jesse Vanoene 21:03  

Eric Simpson 21:54  

Gary Wade 22:16 

Hardeman Cross Climbson 24:16 

Ryan Moir EM 25:06


'18 results

Brian Van Oene Crit No. 15

Hosted by Lake Country-Cycle   

The forecasted winds came to fruition and Valleywide peoples were agape in awe at mountains and visibility of gauge in miles not inches. It was most bueno.   

A message from the President   

A crack team of volunteers made my life happy and smiley again. Whilst my posts seem to be vents 99/100 - the common civilian or unvolunteer type person has no effing idea of the boots-to-the-ground-work is required to make your races go. Loading/unloading the van, procurring ice, water, liquid snacks is a chore even before answering emails/texts.   Then there's the janitorial and paddle work during race.   

We've had some bumps along the way and some abandonments - we forge ahead as you cannot slay us.   

The peoples listed below are top shelf in my books. Regard with respect these names. This year could not have happened with the volys that stepped up and did the deed.   Again a thousand thanks. If you haven't helped out - question yourself why and reverse the stigma.   


I'm purchasing 2 more brooms for '19 and believe it or not - janitorial is going to be voly positions. Yes that's plural.   I swept Corner 1 and again for the umpteenth ( that is a number but it's not infinity ) time Corner 4. Whilst paddling Corner 4 last night - the racers were appreciating the baby smooth grip and the leans and speeds said so.   


Many a racer had their last Crit last night as it seemed every excuse from being a runway drag model to canning bulrushes to plucking their eyebrows ( SW ) was being offered. Ha ha I'm kidding - sounds like the Labour Day weekend has many a racer with family and relaxing.   

As announced last night - local rocket with a temporary clipped chassis Seth Cowie is recovering well. I asked him if he could stop by next week but please " no bikinis or ball hammocks " and he replied with " naked in a wheelchair ". Oh my I'm ascared.   

Let's roll the last Crit '18 with a boat load of fun and laughs.   Make the effort as our wheeled streaker is gonna.   

Thanks to Tyler Nerbas for donating a stealthy grippy Zipp tyre for the A Group Prime. Race Winner and new Hoser Broomham got the bounty.   

without further ado . . .   

Chief of Race / Swiss Timing / Air Boss - Cameron Donald   

Best Mom Ever - Kerry Haaheim   

Corner 3 Hag - Bill Slaney   

Corner 3 Facilitator / Management - Janet Slaney   

Corner 2 Poser - Rob Blackwell  

Corner 2 Facilitator / Management - Teri Lynn Blackwell  

Janitorial Corner 1 & 4, Windmill Hag - Sals   


1st Place - Dean Broomham  

2nd Place - Manuel Fehlmann  

3rd Place - Shogun Jesse Vanoene  

4th Place - Troy Delfs  


Dean Broomham x 2  

Jesse Vanoene   


1st Place - Erik Haaheim  

2nd Place - Eric Norkum  

3rd Place - Ryan Moir  

4th Place - Tyler Nerbas


'18 results

BOA TT No. 15

Hosted by Mountain Equipment Co-op MEC   

A smokey one but a day/evening that we all agreed was way more better than the weekend. The 2nd last TT didn't disappoint as the volys stepped up - the race rolled - and the suds were frosty cold.   


Corner 1 is about 5/6s back to it's perpetual crud state. One week and it's back to a gravel pit ( insert screaming expletives ). Seems the truck traffic carrying Black Mountain dirt to above Scotty Creek is uncovered, chaotic, destructive. Hope this shit ends before TT season No. 36 for 2019. Yup I'm ranting but who enjoys pebbles/rocks filling the bike lane and/or road ? Indeed no one.   

Stepping Up  

Crit winner Gary Wade & Dannica Stevenson graciously stepped up and helped out last night. Thank you both it was most appreciated. I didn't even have to call you out ( ha ha )   

Volys - a golden resource  

All listed below really made the evening seamless. I thank you all.   

seamless ( adjective )   1.1 Smooth and continuous, with no apparent gaps or spaces between one part and the next.  

We debuted a sourmash Berliner beer and Euro expert CX Joe happily took home 2 tall tins. Also Race Winner was given 2 cold tall tins to take home for Mom & Dad . . ha ha ha   

LAST TIME TRIAL for 2018 next Tuesday. Come give 'er a final shot.   

without further ado . . .   

Chief of Race / Northside Duties - Geddan Ruddock  

Swiss Timing - Carmen Lindsay   

Anti-Gravity Unit / Ident & Timing - Gary Wade   

Timing & Ident - Dannica Stevenson  

Finish Queue & still waiting for the old man to finish talking - Julie Quigley   

Northside Windmill Duties - Sal   


Judy Lloyd 31:06  


Rayson Eric Min 27:36  


Jacob Rubuliak 20:55  

Shogun Jesse Vanoene 21:15 

Dustin Quigley 21:48 

Hardeman Cross Climbson 24:48


'18 results

Brian Van Oene Crit No. 14

Hosted by the Deplorables   

Tuesday's best laid plans didn't seem to stick, was it a full Moon last night ? It was a full Moon. Yeah even if I saw a crescent Moon it was a full Moon. Ha ha   

Yours truly didn't even get his pudgy ass to Corner 4 for a few laps whereas some conduct unbecoming by others warranted instant attention. This required working the paddle and phone to quarterback and shuffle peoples to proper our race and it's coverage. The net result was golden but I am truly getting saturated tired of the drama. 

Full fecking PROPS to Rambo Shades. Dude, when zombies attack - I want you on my team.   

The voly peoples listed below deserve a LARGE round of applause. Shake their hand and/or buy them a round.   

The traditional last corner ( Corner 4 ) now has construction orange/yellow moduloc fencing along entire periphery. Good gravy we are destined to have 4 flaggers to cover each Corner for 2019. The sightline on 4 is now hindered as it is with Corner 2 ( brown Santaville ). Blech   

Our Vice President broke away from his Tahitian villa to voly up and help the cause. Props to the Mathers kid and his always-laughing-smiling honey Teri Lyn. You two are most awesome. The puppies are cute but you two are cuter.   

without further ado . . .   

Chief of Race / Hag 3 / Air Boss - Sean Rambo Guidi   

Ident / Race Org / the Boss - Kerry Haaheim  

C&C Facilitation - the Perkins family  

Swiss Timing - Wendy Jansen   

Hag 2 - Rob Blackwell   

Corner 2 Management & Solicitor - Teri Lynn Blackwell  

Corner 3 Gendarme - Tony Perkins   

Corner 4 Windmill Hag / Town Cryer - Sals   

Tent logistics - Ryder Archer   

Tent rental - Brandon S Archer   

Most aggressive Riders of the Night -  Sean Williams, Troy Delfs, Joshua Perkins   

Cinematography & Drunk Xylophone music freak - Sean Williams   

World political panel post-race - Hoser Dean Broomham   

A Group   

1st Place Shogun Jesse Vanoene  

2nd Place - Richard Loney  

3rd Place - Adam Coppock   

Primes ( DM me - you have a choice of Beer or Points ) 

Richard Loney X2 

Jesse Vanoene  

WEDGE Group   

1st Place - Tyler Nerbas   

2nd Place - Eric Norkum  

3rd Place - Erik Haaheim  


Tyler Nerbas   

Erik Haaheim  

B Group   

1st Place - Joshua Perkins   

2 TTs left ( MEC host on both ) and   2 Crits left ( BOA Deplorable host on both ).   We are always looking for my voly help - DM me if you're game


'18 results

BOA TT No. 14

Tuesday August 14th   

Hosted by Mountain Equipment Co-op MEC  

Race Report finally . . lot's to rummage through so here goes.   

Old Vernon Road   

I am scrapping my entire Christmas Wish List and asking Santy for just one thing this year ( besides World Peace - ha ha - that's a Beauty Pageant joke ) - that the Ministry of Transport ( MoT ) commercial vehicle inspectors start doing spot checks and road blocks on OV. Picture No. 2 shows corner 1 before and Picture No. 3 after Sals ( see Futurama if you don't know who Sals is - or Pic. No. 5 ) swept the lightning fury out of her. Seems Sals was effectively busy as he even worked the West side of OV from the bus stop to the infamous full-speed-full-turn-full-aero-tuck-just-give-er-the-Finish-Line-is-in-sight.   

When Sals parked his garbage truck in the residents driveway to sweep - they were thanking and laughing at him. He mentioned it's without doubt every load on Old Vernon is uncovered and a violation. They then gave him horror stories of cars blowing the corner and ending up in their yard. One boob almost hit the house ?!?! Next time you drive/ride this look how far and higher the house is than the corner.   

Sals cleared their driveway entrance and they were smiley. Go BOA !   

Picture No. 4 is the gavel pit sitting at the McKenzie junction. Sals is ascared of sweeping that solo without delineators or a safety crew. It will have to be another day.   

This has been Sweep Session No. 3 for 2018 and when you look at Pic No. 1 - it looks like a mtb trail. Frick.   

Joey Timing System ( JTS )  

Herr Himmelsmarschall Dodd & Nicole graciously donated time to field the unit. We chose lab rats from the group to see how the JTS fared. All PETA guidelines were followed and no harm came to any of the experiment persons. There was some hiccups and some experience gained - so be patient we are trying to unf*ck a software program that is coded so wrong and so sideways. 

If any of you IT peoples offer support - please remember Curtis has been trial running/working this since end of May. Also that the code on this program may have to be rewritten. We are a stubborn lot so success is without question.   


Yeah I know - I'm forever stuck in a harbringer speech of fury about volunteers. I'm just writing that anyone who has bucked up this year and helped is a frigging superstar. Our series can only hit light speed when we gots some awesome hoomans on board.   


Yup she's thick. I'm trying to be impartial here but unless you stop riding altogether - it ain't going away. The times below are off and the grey cast of ash is the culprit.   

without further ado . . .   

Chief of Race / Northside Duties - Geddan Ruddock  

Sign-up / Swiss Timing - Keith & Lorraine Reid   

Swiss Timing & Ident - Emily Cheyne   

Cinematography & JTS facilitator - Nicole Barby   

JTS Himmelsmarschall - Gumper Dodd   ( that's Sky Marshall in German btw )  

Best pre-launch psych ever ( see Nicole's video ) - Capt Joe Wessel   

Anti-Gravity Unit / Northside Windmill Duties / Sweep Fury Demon - Sals ( pic No. 5 )  

Senior Women  

Judy Lloyd 32:04  

Senior Men  

Rayson Eric Min 28:54  


Shogun Jesse Vanoene 21:24 

Dustin Quigley 21:58  

Gary Wade 23:27 

Hardeman Cross Climbson 24:23


'18 results

Brian Van Oene Crit No. 13

Hosted by ChainLine Cycle   

Another whallop of info coming your way so grab a coffee or a beer. Here goes. . .   


Believe it or not - the smoke is creating a buffer against full on baking from the rays. Yes it's warm out - but the "H" word really still cannot be used. Stop pampering yourself with the A/C and buck up and welcome the temps. In no time Autumn will be crunching under our treads and there'll be a chorus of cacophony from too many about how cold it is . . oh my.   

Smoke - yup it's there. It's scant compared to last year and we're all breathing it. Does it hamper your riding ? NO it levels the playing field there Virginia. If you spark off a morning ride Thursday and complain the smoke is preventing you from riding the Crit - you're a hypocrite there Ned Sneebly.   

Furniture & Loose Belts   

NO I had nothing to do with the abandonded Fridge before Corner 1. Stop asking me - and no it had no beer in it.   

Apologies to our Cinematographer Sean Williams as Sals the janitor dropped his drawers and mooned SW pre-race. The horror.   

Golden Barley   

BOA had 48 bottles of COLD water and 48 tins of FRIGID beer for you last night. Local Wedger Ryan Moir purchased 24 tins of ICED Nelson Brewery goodness for you punks too.   Yeah all the NBC stuff went first. Ha ha and thank you Ryan.   


Got word from some Wedgies that a certain rider fell out of A and ripped up of torrid pace for a bit. Perspective says you didn't have a soft race and I saw nothing but smiles post race. Maybe let the drop-in know you;ll buy him a beer if you guys gain an extra lap cause of it. Ha ha   

Volys & Drunk Brown Santa parking   

Volys - a baritone thank you. Parking it on any of the Corners and running the paddles is a serious job. Every racer that zipps by appreciates your work and thinks your top shelf goods.   

Brown Santa delivers packages worldwide 365 with military accuracy - but can't park their rigs at depot to save a life. Seems the depot is crunched for space and yeah they're always parking a rig in the wrong spot of Corner 2. I know people - and cousin Tony does chop work - I mean service work on the brown rigs. I've passed on the disdain we have for the Corner 2 billboard. Here's hoping but it still looks like a drunk reindeer parks their civvie and work vehicles.   

JOEY Timing System & BOA  

Had word from a person I respect regarding the Timing System. Seems I've pereptually had the same 2-3 gossipy fucks in my wake since the dawn of time. A verbatim comment was relayed by him about the system from the subterfuge septic ones.   

Our JOEY system has been in BOA hands since May - we have had nothing but dead ends with the PIKA Timing software. It is user-unfriendly. We cannot generate reports for more than 1 rider. Our team of Coder & Techs are actually working on redoing the code for this for us,   

Am I frustrated at this ? Hell yes.   

The JOEY will be active for 2019 and all of you who purchased the timing ships will get them. Next years fees will be split so that your '18 purchase of chip(s) does not have to be repeated.   

Have we received any answers from RFID or PIKA about our problems ? 

NO and big flat NO.   

How many times have we asked ? 

Too many times.   

Enclosed is copies of the Visa Joey purchase AUS $ 7,485.00 and the brokerage invoice CDN $ 766.47. Now please read the following :   

The Prokop's and S.P. Interiors have funded TOO much for BOA in the past 3 years. For Race 1 of 2018 we funded assorted expenses totalling $ 1,934.72 . This is then offset with BOA memberships back.  

Have we been fully paid this back ? NO.   

S.P. Interiors funded $ 1,500 for the JOEY System along with   Mark Sherman, Matthew Von Nostrand, Disney, MEC ( all $ 500 ) and ChainLine Cycle $ 300. These donations bridged the gap of funds pooled from the past 3 years.   

I volunteer more hours than any of you realize for this series.   Volunteering means I don't get paid.   We've a heritage going back 35 years on Old Vernon Rd.   The series will not only continue - it strengthens everyday.   

As I said in my July 25th post on Fakebook - I've put up with too much shit this year. This is more turd icing - but it only makes me way more awesome stubborn to forge on.   

The host shops donate paid employee hours or from their pool of volunteers - NO funds. So our entire series runs on YOUR membership and race fees and a tonne of volunteerism.   

If someone is flapping their septic piehole around you about me or the series - kindly pop them in the chicklets or tell 'em to grab a spine and look me in the eye and repeat their caustic BS. I dare 'em - bring it on. My money is on the fact these turds don't volunteer either.   

I'm available at proper times to talk about the system or BOA - but don't peg me pre-race.   

Clash of the Titans   

Last night we had a lighter numbered crowd but the racing was hard. There was nowhere to hide in the Wedge or A Group. Literally nowhere to hide.   

Props to Matt Brown and Trevor Wurtele - two big tall monster engines made the A Group hurt.   


Sals - when he kept his pants on - swept the straight away on the old Start/Finish area. There is almost not one part of the course this foul-mouthed heathen hasn't groomed.   

without further ado . .   

Chief of Race - P!nk Stephen Gaucher  

Corner 2 Referees of Brown Santa rigs - Godfrey Watson, Scott Watson   

Corner 3 Thug - Craig Horon  

Janitorial , Town Cryer , Corner 4 Hag - Sals   

Video Mule , Cinematography - Sean Williams  

Brewmaster - Ryan Moir  

Automotive with a Joisey accent - Tony Diemand   

Ident & Prime Calls - Melissa Jack , Carli Van Oene , James Day   


1st Place - Matt Brown  

2nd Place - Trevor Wurtele  

3rd Place - Troy Delfs  

4th Place - Geddan Ruddock  

$ 20 Primes  

Conor Martin X2  

WEDGE Group   

1st Place - Tyler Nerbas  

2nd Place - Ryan Moir  

3rd Place - Banzai Takumi Minigawa   

$ 20 Primes  

Tyler Nerbas X2  

B Group   

1st Place Sean Kelly   

2nd Place Robbie Ruddock


'18 results

BOA TT No. 13

Hosted by Mountain Equipment Co-op MEC  

As the fiery globe lazily settled in it's blanket of smoked sky - many a hardened racer attended the 4th last TT of the year.   From ancient Egypt to current cults - the mesmerizing effect of our universes source of life was brilliantly evident last night.   

Old faces, new faces, and two hardcore badass volys made last night another reason to make me BIG smiley.   

Yes there's smoke everywhere - we're all breathing it and it's way less than last year. So really no reason to complain.   

The windsock at the areodrome showed a subtle headwind out - and tailwind back. The BEST part of all last night was all the BIG grins post race with cold barley in hand rewarding all.   Receiving verbal kudos on how tasty cold it was was pure hoser beauty. We depleted both stocks of hops and H2O. Foxtrot Yankee   

Was thinking a lot about our rocket Seth Cowie who has had his racing temporarily shelved. Heal up quick lad - we're going to miss you. I dare ask if you could stop by our last Crit of the year Thursday Aug 30th and we'll have everyone sign your crutches 😝. And maybe we'll stuff a beer or 4 down your throat.   

without further ado . . .   

Chief of Race / Swiss Timing / Voly Badass - Carmen Lindsay   

THE Coach / Northside duties / Voly Badass - Trisha Hodgins  

Anti-Gravity Unit / Northside windmill - a hideous Mike Ricci   

John Deere 6 Tarmac Patrol - Dave Bulach  


Judy Lloyd 32:13  


Amy Elliott 24:03  

Erika Biser 26:35  

Fiona MacLeod 27:01  

Emily Cheyne 29:32  


Sam Long 19:51  

Shogun Jesse Vanoene 21:08  

Dustin Quigley 21:24  

Dalton Fayad 21:26  

Geddan Ruddock 21:42  

Conor Martin 25:06


'18 results

Brian Van Oene Criterium No. 12

Hosted by ChainLine Cycle   

No sooner did I start sweeping the yaw angle from Corner 3 to Corner 4 - did a torrent of wind come smash along Jim Bailey. This of course was pre-race and thundering buckets of feral cats did it howl. As one who strives 95/100 to say " Why Not " - I reminded the racers that yes the headwinds were gonna blow pineapple chunks - but to " Think KOMs !! ". Matt Brown certainly did on the Crit from the Crit - Holy Moly.   

A full 3 Group session and manage it well the CLC lads did.   Our " Voly of the Year " Craig Horon did another donation of his time . . . thank you again Craig - you've made this year a Grrreat Grrreat time for racing.   

Fashion victim Sean Williams did indeed wear the unwearable. Morph a sex-doll with Bob the Builder and Felipe from the Village People. Indeed . . Macho Macho Man.   It's a good thing he drove down from Vernon - as had he rode back - a Greyhound bus full of drunk sailors would have been looking for him use a s a human dart against a brick wall.  Love this lads moxy and confidence - he carried it like Lauren Bacall in " How to Marry a Millionaire ".   

We'll remind the junior grommet racers next week that they have to stick to the right all race and no squirrel action darting here and there and everywhere.   

Special thanks to our 4 ChainLine volys - great job of covering 1/2 of the corners and making this one as safe as possible.   

without further ado . . .   

Chief of Race, Timing - Darrin Caruso   

Air Boss, Timing - Godfrey Watson   

Video Finish - Sean Guidi   

Video Mule / Cinematography / Fashion Horror - Sean Williams  

Corner 2 Gendarme / Signup - Stephen Gaucher  

Corner 3 Enforcer - Dr. Craig Horon   


Retro Jersey of the Evening - Hardeman Cross Climbson  

Corner 3-4 Sweep & Paddle Hag : Christoph Rehage  


Family Cheer   

Rubuliak , Brown, Byrnes, Slaney , Perkins,  Ruddock, Takumi & Gang, Van Oene   


1st Place - Richard Loney  

2nd Place - Geddan Ruddock  

3rd Place - Baili Guidi  

$ 20 Primes 

Baili Guidi 

Jacob Rubuliak   


1st Place - Ryan Moir  

2nd Place - Noah Rubuliak   

3rd Place - Jaxon Slaney   

4th Place - Peter Byrnes   

5th Place - Kory Weiss   

$20 Prime   

Noah Rubuiak   


1st Place - Rayson Eric Min  

2nd Place - Robert Ruddock   

3rd Place - Levi Rubuliak   

4th Place - Sean Kelly   

5th Place - Joshua Perkins


'18 results

BOA Time Trial No. 12

Hosted by ChainLine Cycle 

disclaimer : there's a bounty of humour wordmashed below. Our aim is to always instill FUN with this community event.   The persons named have thick skin so nyah. .   

Voly session No. 27 for the Fat Kid and a single snapshot of last night encases so many different stories, peoples and their drive/ability/mustard, and humour.   I'm always trying to encapsulate it for the awesome crazy it is.   

My Dad always looks at me like I'm full of poop when I brag about Eric Rayson. At 80 this cat is doing his thing - and it is awesome inspiring. I only hope to get this badass at 60 but my inner circle of friends pee themselves with laughter at that.  Bravo Eric . .   

The windsock at the aerodrome was like a drunk stuck to the bar at happy hour. Going nowhere. High humidity but dead calm air. Weather analytics DQ called it - there was to be PRs abound. Indeed he was spot on.   

Resident Physiotherapist and Masters of Kinesiology Craig Horon did his best to attempt some sense into a single person re DH biking and the recovery said lad is in. And the recovery said lad should adhere to - and not go to North Shore in September. Like trying to pour beer through a granite rock . . . There was laughs and we trust the message got through . . but I dunno.   

Dustin Quigley got to relive the gastro shut down horrors of his Ironman Whistler this past weekend. He endured a tonne of yucky and finished. Sounds like it was pure carnage out there. A full distance Triathlon is a big mug of whoop ass.   Congrats D you're an Ironman.   

It's funny how the CX junkies are clandestinely racing our TT and Crits for the high intensity that is gravel. Springbok Geddan launched himself into outer space last night with a screamer PR. Maybe I should poke the bear and piss him off for one of the last remaining races - rage the race with grrrr.  CX Joe showed up like a ghost . . . training for the gravel.   

And local rocket Jesse Vanoene did his very best impression of Jan Ullrich and tore tarmac up with his tyres like it was paper. Whoa Dude that was a wicked outing.   

Props to all that raced - I really enjoyed last night. Thanks to our amazing voly crew. I swear Craig Horon is like a rink rat - we cannot get rid of him. Thank you sir your help is invaluable.   

We had 5 racers last night - 6 are written below. One is my wink and nod at a lad that would do very well at the " race of truth " - but he can never get past that statement . . . ha ha ha  

I swept the Start Chute again ( !!! ) and Corner 1 looks like Khe Sahn during the offensive instead of tarmac. What the heck is going on with covered loads on Old Vernon ?!  

without further ado . . .   

Chief of Race - old man Craig Horon  

Swiss Timing & Ident - Dustin Quigley  

Swiss Timing - Crash Stephen Gaucher  

Anti-Gravity Unit - Cooter   

North End Duties - FERD lads Jethro & Cooter   

Stuck waiting for the old man to stop talking - Julie Q  


Judy Lloyd 31:03  


Rayson Eric Min 26:29  


Shogun Jesse Vanoene 20:11 

Geddan Ruddock 20:51 

Hardeman Cross Climbson 23:24 

Pat Klassen DNS


'18 results

Brian Van Oene Criterium No. 11

Hosted by the Fat Kid / Lake Country-Cycle  

and 5 AMAZING volunteers.  

A lot to purge out the beer funnel - so here goes.   

Last night was a wondrous focalized collection of new faces, old faces, FUN faces. We had racers from Kamloops and Vernon come down for our venue. I trust we didn't disappoint.   John Tilley from 'Loops remembers racing our Crit " when there was nothing out there - no buildings ". Ha ha   

As it was Retro Kit night ( all remaining 5 Crits are by the way ) - highlights included seeing the polite gentleman from across the pond NOT in mustard & blue, and Matt's race day singlet. The ripped off arms is such a manly look in this soft age. Ha ha ha - looking forward to next week !  

The Zoo ( not Liquid ) lost a couple of wild animals yesterday - as Sethy & Matt did a small ride before the Crit. Yeah a Round the Lake !! and Seth was mentioning he was at ~190 kms post Crit. Please note the standings below where these two mutts placed and add the " Crit after the Crit " ride home when thinking 'bout their mileage. Holy Moly   

We ran all 3 Groups last night with a Wedgy as big as A Group. B Group had our grizzled veterans Sean & Joshua racing for placing. Please note that Joshua is 10. Snuff out the excuses if you think it's " too hot " and re-read the last sentence.   

Best run Crit I've seen all year - the following 5 people made YOUR Crit a ripper. We dusted all of the iced water and there was more than enough barley to go around.   

I'd also like to thank the following 3 racers for giving back some/all of their winnings for the " pop fund ".  Sean Kelly , Tyler Nerbas , Seth Cowie   

Baritone Bravo to your volunteers :  

Curtis Dodd - Chief of Race , Timing  

Cameron Donald - Ident, Timing, a BIG help  

Tony Perkins - Corner 3  

Laura Medcalf - Corner 2  

F*cking Haolie - Corner 4 & Town Cryer   

Family Cheer -   Ruddocks, Perkins, Slaney, Hunt, Worman, Brown   

Post Race drive by with smiles and laughs - Garry Norkum  

An early jump by the 3 monsters and yeah . . . even pack prime couldn't reel them in.   

The Wedgys had some crisp racing - as soon as they looked soft C&C jump started them with a Prime.   

B Group makes me smile huge ( I wish I had been racing at 10 instead of smoking & drinking under the blue school steps . . ha ha ha )   

without further ado . .   


1st Place - Seth Cowie   

2nd Place - Shogun Jesse Vanoene  

3rd Place - Matt Brown  

4th Place - Geddan Ruddock  

$ 20 Primes   

Seth Cowie X2 

Matthew Van Nostrand   


1st Place - Tyler Nerbas  

2nd Place - Brody Wright   

3rd Place - Eric Norkum  

$ 20 Primes   

Jaxon Slaney   

Tyler Nerbas   


1st Place - Sean Kelly   

2nd Place - Joshua Perkins   

$ 20 Prime   Sean Kelly


'18 results

BOA TT No. 11

Hosted by Cyclepath   

Last hosting for Gary's lads and as always full delivery of smiles & voly services. Thank you Dan Cribb you make these events a real plus. BTW that exhaust on the missile is bitchin'.   

A few " state of the union " updates.   

- New faces. Love it. Last night we had two women come out and work the " race of truth ". Smiles and cold water for them after. Word is they're coming back for more. Awesome   

- I have a hunch the Earth's axis has shifted a tad to compensate for the medal haul the Okanagan kids are harvesting. Props all as the experience and seeing other races roll is amazing to absorb at such young ages.   

- Enhance your Environment   

I volunteer hundreds of hours for your Crits & TTs. Last night was venue No. 25 / 36 I've been at - I've worked - I've seen to completion. My time is valuable - as is yours. The series will forge ahead on my watch. As explained above - it's the peoples ( newbies or regulars ) that come and accomplish goals that makes my voly time gratifying.   

Unfortunately there is a septic eddy of peoples that assume I'm but slave labour and do not enhance their/my environment. A condensed summary is adhere to my minimum or don't bother. The general lot of you will read this and go ??? but know that I've had a lot of shit to put up with this year. I'm more stubborn than anyone you know - just ask some of my JAFNR mates that roll a Sunday with me.   

Look at the picture and remind yourself - I am not detered.   

2019 is going to be a year of many changes with BOA - all positive and progressive.   

. . back to last night's action . .   

NO it wasn't that hot peoples. If you drive around with full A/C in the vehicle and then come race - yup she's gonna be toasty. There's always iced water at race finish.   

Good Luck to local data analytics Dustin Quigley at this weekend's Ironman Canada Whistler. Word is the bike course is sneaky faster than last year . . . thx TW for the recon.   

Anyone else in our race community going - smile, savour the experience and bollocks to the splits. A full distance is one Mother of a day - and a lot has to go right. Prepare for the unexpected so your mental game is strong.   

As always - half way through the run course you'll curse out loud " Never EVER doing another one of these effing races ! ! " only to go 180 about 20 minutes post race " Hey - maybe I could sign up for another in 2 months ". Savour that post-race environment and wobblies - you'll deserve 'em.   

without further ado . . .   

Chief of Race - Dan Cribb  

Anti-Gravity Unit & Northside duties - F*cking Haolie  

Analytics & Bike Tech - Dustin Quigley  

Finish Recon - the Dude on the longboard  

Senior Women  

Judy Lloyd 32:27  


Karis Shearer 29:01 

Keelan McGoey EM 29:49  

Alison Conway EM 30:22  


Shogun Jesse Vanoene 21:27 

Adam Coppock EM 24:40


'18 results

Brian Van Oene Criterium No. 10

Hosted by Cyclepath   

Okay there's a full B-Train full of info , updates , etc . .   

BOA Events & weather - If it's raining farm animals - we consider suspending activities. If you look outside and it's rained 50 mm's - we might be thinking about postponing the event. The smoke sucks - but it will not stop the show.   

Thank you all for showing up last night - she was a gooder. Lot's of familia there cheering on the racers. Montreal lad Bruno Labelle raced and I think it's fair to say we're the BEST damned Beer League Street Circuit racing you ever did see.  12/10 racers agree it's the most fun you'll ever see on a Thursday night ( of course they were surveyed after receiving a cold barley ).   

All that thanks goes to C&C of Carli, Melissa, and Stephan.   This was Cyclpath's last Crit host - Merci Stephan. DH Dan Cribb guns the last Cyclepath host at Tuesday's TT.   

Two video mules last night - way more awesome. Thank you Bruno and Sean.   

Old Man Trevor rolled the A Group and proved to us all - he's a T-1000 cyborg with a nuclear forged soul. Props man - glad you stuck it out with the group.   

Every time I see Cole Cowie I'm amazed how big he's growing so quickly. I envision him ( sooner than you think ) looking down on the old man and saying " Pops I'm taking the truck - what you gonna do about it ? ". Ha ha ha  

De Vliegende Hollander rides to and fro Crit from the Westside - so we all were agape when he showed up on time last night !! Ha ha ha . Props Dude.   

We hope that Vernon stud Kellen Viznaugh comes to a few more of our remaining 6 Crits as he has a Fan Club. It's all I'm saying . . ;-)   

I was extremely happy to find out post race that Pepe the cute timid Whippit roaming around the railway tracks was not lost - just chilling whilst his owners were bevvie partaking 3 stone throws away.   

Reviews were mixed ( the bad critiques cames from the usual sources ) even on the new flooring in the Clubhouse bathroom. Jorge chilled as group mediator and the laughs were plenty.   

C&C ran the Wedgers long tonight - so all of you take pride knowing you rolled an A Group race. Props to 1st timer on his CX bike Dustin Semenzian .   

We also should hold a moment of silence for the 2 liter bottle of Root Beer that somehow exploded on it's own inside the Panzerwagen ( " wasn't me wasn't me " the cries were heard ).  

All remaining 6 Crits are to be RETRO KIT CRITS. As the Town Cryer at last night's event proudly wore a bitchin' screamer of a fashion bomb shirt - there are some rules.   

- Ensure from another person before race that indeed your bottoms are not worn , holed , or barely together. None of the racers want to see your package dangle whilst you stand in the pedals.   

- Sean Williams is NOT allowed to wear his muscle skinsuit. I drink heavily everyday trying to purge that sight from my memory banks. Ha ha   

Want to wear a thong or bikini ? Go for it but remember Mr. Matt B may take you aside and tell you you're a fashion victim.   

We will have awards for best kit , most creative etc so think outside the box.   

without further ado . . . .  

Chiefs of Race, Air Bosses, Command & Control  

Carli Van Oene , Melissa Jack, Stephan Coutoure  

Superstar Voly of the Night - Lisa Worman  

Town Cryer , Running Hag Corner 4 & 2 - F*cking Haolie   

Video Mules - Sean Williams , Bruno Labelle   

Most Agressive Rider of the Night - Tyler Nerbas   

Sneak Attack for Win - Richard Loney  

A Group   

1st Place - Richard Loney  

2nd Place - Bruno Labelle  

3rd Place - Shogun Jesse Vanoene  

$ 20 Primes  

Matthew Van Nostrand X2 

Jesse Vanoene   

Wedge Group   

1st Place - Erik Haaheim  

2nd Place - Tyler Nerbas  

3rd Place - Ryan Moir   

$ 20 Prime

Tyler Nerbas


'18 results

BOA TT No. 10 - '18

Hosted by Cyclepath   

A microburst is an intense small-scale downdraft produced by a thunderstorm or rain shower. There are two types of microbursts: wet microbursts and dry microbursts. They go through three stages in their cycle, the downburst, outburst, and cushion stages also called "Suriano's Stroke".[1]   

A microburst often has high winds that can knock over fully grown trees. They usually last for seconds to minutes.   

The windsock was dead limp at signup - the only stress was whether certain peoples were going to show up on time ( shaking my fist with a smile ). But a few minutes before start the flag started dancing - and the peoples proper arrived to facilitate duties required.. Not a racer got wet during race - but the ride home might have been a duck's backside for some.   

Sals drove the race winner home cause, well, we like Sethy and want him to come to race more.   

Props to Swiss Timing Dan Cribb. This cat makes it happen - although he was internally sad he didn't have fellow Hoonigan Craig Horon there to talk after market exhaust and suspension tricks on Japanese 4 wheeled missiles.   

Extra props as always to Mr. T - this cat has been around racing since he was born. Love the help, love the stories.   

without further ado . . .   

Chief of Race & Swiss Timing - Dan Cribb  

Anti-Gravity Unit - Trevor Haaheim   

North End Vehicular Control - Barry Jay & Tina Ferguson  

Driving Miss Daisy - Sals   

Course recon and banter - the Knox Flyer   

Senior Women  

Judy Lloyd 32:40  

Senior Men  

Rayson Eric Min 27:37  

Junior Men   

Erik Haaheim 26:18  


Seth Cowie 21:14 

Dustin Quigley 21:23  

Shogun Jesse Vanoene 21:23 

Graham Hood 21:26  

Gary Wade 21:46 

Geddan Ruddock EM 22:13 ( WOW )  

Adam Coppock EM 24:17  

Demian Seale EM 25:28 

Peter Tonkin EM 25:40


'18 results

Brian Van Oene Crit No. 9

Hosted by Cyclepath   

A toasty affair indeed. As always the BOA chest of iced goodies was puked full - and only 6 water remained at the end of the evening.   

The outboard lane from Corner 3 to Corner 4 was fully swept by some bum who kept leaving his warm bevvie somewhere.  

Props to the polite gentleman from across the pond - a spirited jump and he got the win. We were also happy to have jetsetter Seth Cowie drop in after being at Superweek in Van Gritty last night.   

Two new fresh faces tonight - welcome aboard gentlemen.   

without further ado . .   

Chief of Race - Carli Van Oene   

Air Boss - Melissa Jack   

Wrench, Race Org, Tent Facilitator - Stephan Coutoure  

Corner 3 Gendarme - Jay Barry   

Corner 4 Control - Tina Ferguson  

Corner 2 Hag - Sals   

Video Mule , Cinematography - Sean Williams   

A Group   

1st Place Adam Coppock  

2nd Place Shogun Jesse Vanoene  

3rd Place Troy Delfts  

$ 20 Primes   

Seth Cowie x2 

Jesse Vanoene  

Wedge Group   

1st Place Derek Barile   

2nd Place Tyler Nerbas   

3rd Place Eric Norkum   

$ 20 Primes   

Derek Barile x2  

B Group   

1st Place Craig Horon  

2nd Place Sean Kelly   

3rd Place Takumi Minigawa   

$ 20 Prime   

Sean Kelly   

Crit No. 10 next week - see you there.


'18 results

BOA TT No. 9 - '18

Hosted by Cyclepath   

An interesting night of weather. Raging stormfront on South Slopes ( literally solid white gray from cloud height to ground ) and brooding cloud formations our way. The diehards showed - and endured a session of wet on North end. Kudos to all that raced as the tarmac was ungrippy for the turnaround.   

There wasn't the Grandfondo hangover legs either as a few of tonight's rollers fared most well in Ptown.   

The Hogwart's Express was delayed - even magic couldn't save on-time status for our vehicular management peoples.   So yours truly did another " run and gun " providing anti-gravity facilitation and turnaround hag duties. I think the racers are getting tired ( nauseous says Craigy ) of my ugly mug. Ha ha ha ha.  

As well - the Fat Kid did sweep duties at the detour intersection and 1st corner all the way to McKenzie. I swear every gravel load that travels Old Vernon is not covered and destined to spill maximus. For now - the 1st corner is smooth as a baby's backside.   

Props to all that raced in some less-than-ideal conditions.   And always props to the volys.   

without further ado . . .  

Chief of Race, Swiss Timing, Hieroglyphic Results   Dan Cribb   

Run and Gun, Sweepage - Sals   

Executive Producer , Scotty Creek Gendarme - Sean Guidi   

Ident and there for the Beer - Victor Martin   

Security and Post Race review - Dave Bulach   

K9 - Oakley , Cali , Timber   


Helen Parr 29:12 

Kendra Jacobs 30:46  

Senior Men  

Rayson Eric Min 28:35  

Junior Men  

Baili Guidi 20:57 RACE WINNER  

Conor Martin 21:04  

Erik Haaheim EM 26:09  


Baili Guidi 20:57 RACE WINNER  

Trevor Wurtele 21:03 

Conor Martin 21:04 

Dustin Quigley 21:34  

Gary Wade 22:13  

Erik Haaheim EM 26:09 

Craig Horon EM 27:36  

See YOU at Thursday's Crit